So, I guess I am freaking out a little. I am stressed out to the max and getting closer and closer to finally obtaining my teaching certificate. This seems to take forever and a day to complete and it always makes me frustrated to read things from friends of mine in other states that were able to get their certificate so easily after they graduated. I went back to school in 2010 and finally finished up my BS in Communication at Missouri State University. I was excited to finally be done, but had no idea what I was going to do with the damn thing. I knew deep down that my passion was for writing and most of the people I looked up to were teachers. It always seemed logical for me to take up that profession, but I had no idea the amount of time and money I would need to spend in order to earn my certificate. Honestly, financially, it is the dumbest decision I have ever made in my life because we are essentially living on credit right now. I keep telling myself that it will be worth it in the end because I will love what I am doing FINALLY, but then the bills just keep burying us deeper and deeper into a crevasse of debt. It is so difficult to maintain positive when I continue to work for free. Yes, I have a job that pays me, but when it comes to teaching, I have practicums, evaluations, and student teaching to complete before any school can look at me. Not to mention, I still have to pass my Praxis test. I have been told that Missouri is one of the best teacher certification programs in the union, and that is great and all, but I am 34 years old and many of the courses that are required are geared towards someone who has never taught and never had a real job. I feel like I have a lot of life experiences that will give me a one up on other future graduates that will be looking for a job at the same time I will be. It is just frustrating to think that I have to pile on more debt to get there. So, what is the most logical thing to do when you are worried about money. Yeah, well...I did something I never thought I would do in a million years...I bought a motorcycle.
If you have never ridden before I suggest you give it a try. I rode dirt bikes when I was a kid, but nothing feels like cruising at 65 mph down the highway in the cool, open air of autumn. It is the greatest time to be outside in Missouri. Some folks complain that it is too cool, but my thick skin really appreciates the breeze. I am learning how to ride with my brother. He is a few years younger than I am, but he has been riding for over ten years. I think if he weren't riding as much as he was, I may never have had the courage to go through with owning a bike, but let me tell you, it definitely helps me with stress. One of my practicums this semester is at Branson High School, and I keep saying I am going to ride it down there, but it has rained every single time I have set out to head down south. Hopefully, I will be able to make at least one trip down there for school. It kind of makes me think if I were to get a job down in Branson that riding a bike wouldn't be so bad. There is so much beautiful foliage this time of year on the drive down. I guess I decided to write today because once again, I am feeling stressed out about my decision to get certified to teach. I am freaking out about the debt it is creating for myself and my family. I know that purchasing a bike wasn't the most logical thing to do, and I am sure Dave Ramsey would have a heart attack if he saw my financial numbers, but for the first time in my life I am feeling like I am doing the right thing by not living in regret. Even with the crazy decisions I have made recently, I still feel proud of myself for taking the reins and controlling my own destiny. I understand what I am doing and I am not a kid anymore. Sometimes, I think we do things like this to prove to ourselves that we can. I know I have what it takes to teach, but just like everything else in life, I want to teach NOW. I don't want to have to wait any longer. I am tired of waiting and tired of bouncing from one meaningless job to the next. Don't get me wrong, I love the people that I work with, but I have never done anything in my life that I thought I could do for the rest of my life. I have never had a job, in other words, that I could live with until retirement age. The only motivating factor of my employment has been money thus far in my life, and frankly, I am sick of that. I want to give something back to the universe that will make me feel good about going to work everyday and I know teaching will do that for me. I have gotten goosebumps in my methods class this semester when we were going over planning a certain type of lesson. I have never gotten goosebumps in class EVER in college or work. I think that is a sign that proves to me that I am in fact doing the right thing. At this rate, I will have the Praxis test passed by Spring, and begin my student teaching next fall and I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how I am going to afford it. I may have to sell my car and down size a few other things, but one thing is for sure...my bike is staying in my garage. I can't wait to be that quirky English teacher that wears Converse and rides a bike to school. For the first time in my life, I think I have found my calling. I am defining who I am in my own mind. I am supposed to teach. I am supposed to help kids. I am destined to be a mentor. I am.
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