Again, it has been quite a while since I have posted on here. I think primarily, it's because I'm still in transition. I feel like I've been there most of my life. I'm always trying to become someone for someone else. I feel like I go in circles a lot, not knowing why or where I'm headed. Truth is, I've never really known. I've tried a many number of jobs within a many number of fields, and I've never been satisfied with any of them. Some say my expectations are too great for the things I have done. Truth be told, I just want to come home from work feeling good about what it is I spent my day doing. In all these possible equations, the one that seems to fit is teaching. So, I went back and I finally finished my student teaching last spring. My hurdle now is passing the Praxis. I am confident that I can. I've bought a book to study because I did fail it once. This administration has me incredibly worried with all the cuts to educational funding statewide. I know I am needed now more than ever, but good teachers are abandoning the profession at alarming rates and that really has me shaking at this decision. Truth is, I don't know what to do next. I keep looking for openings and they just aren't showing up yet, which seems very late in the year. Summer is almost over and I don't have a clue what is going to happen. I know I'm going to go through with it. I have been working concerts for Penmac at Thunder Ridge. It has been very challenging logistically. I went to work Jelly Roll, Post Malone, Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan and Hozier concerts so far. Each of them had some kind of issue regarding traffic or weather. Some shows even cancelled due to a bad storm moving through. I have been keeping an eye online for jobs in teaching and I have applied at a high school locally. I haven't heard anything back yet. I am going to continue applying until something gives. I still have to conquer the Praxis. I have been studying a lot. Hopefully, I can get it done in time. I really need some good moojoo. Please put in a word for me upstairs to the powers that be. I'm 45 now, and I need just some kind of sign that I'm at least on the right path. This seems so late to finally be choosing a career.
Meanwhile, my generation has been taking quite a beating lately with all the celebrities and heroes dying. The saddest one for me by far was Ozzy Osbourne. I loved him all through high school and college. I felt like he was very misunderstood by my elders as I was growing up. Ozzy was most definitely a pacifist who believed in love of every and all kinds. His music was so great for venting all of my frustrations of teenage angst, something my daughter has since begun at 15. She has her permit now and will be 16 in April, so we have been frantically trying to figure out the car situation. In the meantime, I am just plugging along at the nature center and greenways trail every day, trying to get in my 6 miles. This 100+° weather is about to end me sometimes, but I try like hell to keep going no matter what. I'm committed to my health. That is the most important thing to me right now. I want to live to have grandkids. I want to be as healthy as I can be for that day. Wow. Did I just think about being a grandpa?!? Weeeeeird.
